I can feel myself progressing but, of course, it isn't enough to make me happy. Sure, I can actually see the bones in my wrist now, and my hips have started to protrude, but it isn't enough. Not until someone comments, and even then I won't be that moved. I almost feel like I'm getting fatter, but I know that can't be the case. It's just be seeing something different in the mirror. Still, I am not content. My head hurts a lot, my eyes hurt even more, there's this horrid sensation in my stomach of concaving... I just feel weak. But I don't know what else I expected; I haven't eaten in two days. In part because of the vyvanse, but that just gives the push I need... I could easily force myself to eat.
Listening to indie music my C's roommate and his friends make is pretty nice. I hardly listen to any music of my own anymore so it's nice to appreciate some real passionate shit. I feel awful. I have a game that I could play, and a quiz that I could be studying for... but I don't know. I don't know why I'm no doing it, I'm just not. It's not that I feel lazy, because I don't. I'm such a mess right now. I kind of just want to go to sleep but I know there's no way that I can. I need more vyvanse but I can't get it until Saturday. Kind of freaking out, but it'll be okay. So many things I could be doing. God my head hurts.
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