Ciao. I'm trying this whole thing again. Perhaps it is because I'm manic. Another reason could be that I feel like less of myself because I haven't written so long, and I'm convinced that any skill I convinced myself that I possessed has faded away over the year(s?). Hopefully I remember to write something at least once a week. I do believe that these blogs can be a lot of help, and on my part they are very interesting and entertaining. I feel like I can express myself better now that I have stopped taking my medication. We will see how long this lasts.
A little bit about me: I have a boyfriend, we'll call him C. He is very personable, optimistic, and loves video games, movies, and music. He is a nerd and uses big words that make me feel like an idiot in comparison. I am needlessly jealous when it comes to him. I am always with him except for while I am in class. I have two girl friends, S and E. I see less of them, but I will talk about them if something important happens. I attend a very nice university. My mother is negative, a bit uneducated, and we have very little if nothing in common. We fight a lot and I don't understand her but I know she loves me. My father is erratic but we have a great deal in common. He is funny and smart, and he loves me a lot as well. These will probably be the most important people I talk about, but others will come and go.
Right now in my life I am attempting to lose all the weight I gained since the holidays started. It's been like twenty pounds, oops. Literally started eating better today. I don't fit into any of my clothes so I should probably hurry. Won't be doing it healthily. I have two tests this week so I'm freaking out about that. Currently streaming the twitch Pokemon marathon thing and have been all day. Um. Dealing with resigning from Greek life, haven't fully unpacked in my new room, dealing with a fear of horror movie characters when I go shower, and trying to turn myself into a super scholar. I drink a lot of coffee and I'm trying to come up with ideas for a video game that I've told myself and everyone that I'm going to create. At the moment nothing really interesting is coming to mind, maybe it's the monotony of the Pokemon music in the background keeping my mind from wandering off into new and intriguing places. C is playing his 3DS and I'm sitting on the floor wondering why they make these lights so harsh and blinding. I swear I have a constant headache. I wonder what he thinks I'm doing, but I also imagine that he doesn't really care. He doesn't worry about things like that. I wish I could read minds, although I know I probably would be so depressed if I could, I think it would sate my curiosity. I would be very smart but very lonely. Hm. Actually I don't think I would want that. Nevermind.
I've always thought that I should start a blog to talk about real world problems and happenings and things like that but I know I wouldn't be able to, I'm too vain. Plus that isn't my writing style, to just summarize. I have to make bold accusations about things and that's not what people really want to hear about, you know?
It almost makes me laugh, the fact that no one will really read this. But I will pretend that I have an audience, I'll put on an illusion of me having some sort of fan base of people who really want to know the inner workings of my mind. Most of the time when people talk to me I fake being interested. I think I've gotten pretty good at it. I just don't get entertained by things that people generally talk about nowadays. Like, pop culture and gossip doesn't really rouse any sort of emotion in me. "Oh, that's nice." "That's cool." "That's stupid." "How crazy!" "What a loser!" Those sort of things are what have become my common responses. Oh my god! I want to RPG with someone, I think that would be fantastic! If I work ahead and get my things done, perhaps I will have the time (and motivation?!) to begin talking with someone again for fun! I love that sort of thing. My mind is all over the place and I'm sure I'm not making any sense at the moment, but I'm manic and happy and so excited about the possibility of role playing with someone again that I think i will get in contact with someone now! Arrivederci!
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